Spanish with Maricarmen:  why we're planning to spend three weeks in Pitres

Amazingly, for a town of 500 people, Pitres boasts two language schools.  We are going to the Intercam School of Languages run by Maricarmen:

http://www.intercam-alpujarra.com/imagenes/MCarmen01.jpg

Maricarmen has been giving private lessons to Michele and I.  She brings so much experience, patience and wit to her lessons, that we decided to extend our time in Pitres to three weeks.

For me the most exciting part of this course has been discovering Compound Phrases.  You may have seen that book on Spanish verbs:













By my calculation that works out at 20,000 words to be memorized - not happening!

However there is an easier alternative, which is a bit like using chords to play the piano - not ideal, but a lot better than nothing, and that is using Compound Phrases.  With Compound Phrases you only need to know three words for each verb, i.e. Infinitive, Gerund and Participle.  1500 seems a lot more manageable than 20,000.  Of course this approach does unfortunately produce some slightly imperfect results:
"Ayer, he hablado con Pedro," translates as "Yesterday, I have spoken with Pedro" which is not something we would normally say, even if we knew a guy called Pedro.

Still I am excited, I think this approach is going to greatly assist our efforts to "Spanglish" our way around Latin American countries in the future.

Typically each day we get treated to Spanish proverbs and a "chiste" (joke).

My favorite chiste so far goes as follows:

Un elefante se sienta en una silla

Que hora es?

Es hora de comprar otra silla



An elephant sits down on a sofa

What time is it?

It's time to buy another sofa

............ok - not a gut buster - but I cannot help smiling.

One problem I face is finding reading material at my level.  Maricarmen has kindly lent me books such as "Beauty and the Beast" in Spanish.  Apart from the fact that it is not the most exciting material, I am finding even these books a bit too difficult.

After extensive search, I think I may have finally discovered a book at my intellectual level:

Bullfighting and the ultimate Andalucia guidebook

In response to popular demand I feel compelled to post something on the subject of bullfighting. There is however one small problem.  With Michele being vegetarian and an animal lover, my chances of getting to a bullfight on this trip are approximately zero.

The nearest we have actually got to a bullfight was this tauromachy themed restaurant in Cordoba.  As you can imagine, the decor was not really to Michele's taste:

Not sure how Madonna found her way into this sword exhibit:

For me facing a raging bull would be terrifying enough, without having to tie yourself down with an elaborate uniform:

Michele was a good sport and just about managed a smile through gritted teeth while surrounded by all this evidence of Spanish "bloodlust":

Thus any wisdom I have to impart, is gained second hand from my favourite guide to the region, the recently departed Michael Jacobs and his book "Andalucia":

Michael Jacobs was a fascinating person in his own right - here is the link to the Telegraph's obituary:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/10579764/Michael-Jacobs-obituary.html

I would have loved to have met Michael Jacobs.  I would argue that he is the only person with the necessary qualities to write a truly authoritative guide to the different facets of Andalucia, from its sublime art to its orgiastic religious festivals.  He was a true intellectual having gained his History of Art doctorate from the Courtauld Institute.  His formidable intellect was matched only by his formidable constitution.  This was a man who could - and did - party all night while writing all day.  He succeeded in getting 27 books  on travel and art published.

At the start of the guide book he sets himself the goal of producing an account that is "discursive,opinionated and idiosyncratic".  He hit the ball out of the park on all three counts.  Jacobs has a deep distrust of Romantic writing about the region.  One of the books he cites with much approval is "Unromantic Spain" by Mario Praz (1928).

He is clear sightedly aware of the imperfections of the natives.  However, time and time again he gains the trust of the locals, over numerous brandies at 4 in the morning.  He rewards that trust with an affectionate writing style that somehow reconciles the reader to all the Andalucian foibles and follies.

Here is what his book has to say about bullfighting:

'...there are countless books in English on bullfighting, generally written in an emotional, macho vein by those who claim to have a unique insight into the sport: two of the most famous are by Ernest Hemingway and the drama critic Kenneth Tynan, both of whom, incidentally, had relatively little experience of Seville's Maestranza. What you rarely read about is that the great majority of the fights are very poor in quality, and that bull fighting today has lost much of its former greatness.  One of the reasons for the decline might be that the desire to escape from poverty was once the main spur to the matador, and that extreme poverty of this kind is no longer so widespread in Spain....

Curro Romero, in his late 60s but still fighting, is a living legend who already has a street named after him in the precinct of Seville's Feria. As cowardly as Espartaco is brave, he has been known to go to prison for his refusal to kill a particularly dangerous bull (failure to kill a bull constitutes a breach in the bull fighter's contract).  It is said that you never see Curro fight badly, for he either fights well, or not at all...in 1989 the front page of the sporting paper 'ABC' bore the banner headline 'CURRO FOUGHT' "

Provence, Tuscany.............and the Alpujarra?

Ok, ok, I admit that I have never actually been to Provence, and I have only visited a couple of places in Tuscany, but that does not stop me having an opinion on the subject, namely that the Alpujarra deserves to rank up there with Provence and Tuscany.

I am guessing that most people (like me until I joined Zack on a visit to Granada in February this year) have never heard of the Alpujarra.

Here is a map of the region with where we are staying highlighted in red.

You will need to change the zoom on your web page to make head or tail of the map, but basically the Alpujarra is south east of Granada and on the slopes of the Sierra Nevada.

The geography and history of this region combine to create something that is like nothing I have ever experienced.

Geography:  Desert, Mountains and Snow

The first clue to understanding the region is that it is located in an area that would be almost desert were it not for the mountainous terrain.

Indeed all of Sergio Leone's Spaghetti Westerns were shot in Europe's only desert some 30 kilometres east of here:

The nearby Sierra Nevada mountain range has mountains higher than the Pyrenees.  In fact the peaks are the highest in Europe outside of the Alps.  

These mountains capture moisture from the Atlantic winds in the form of snow.  Like Whistler, you can ski and swim in the ocean on the same day - the only difference is that in June in the Mediterranean, you can do so without a wetsuit.

Here is a picture of the Alhambra with the Sierra Nevada mountains in the background.

It is the snow melt from the Sierra Nevada mountains that stops the region from looking like the set of a bad movie.

History:  The "other" Moorish Miracle

The Alhambra is the Moorish miracle that everyone has heard of.  The Moors took an exposed dry "plug" of land and built a palace that sheltered from the summer heat with gardens of fountains and pools.

Here are some photos from our visit:

The Alpujarras is the other Moorish Miracle. With hand tools the Moors achieved improbable feats of irrigation.  Their water channels (or "acequias") distributed the snow melt all along the mountain slopes thereby making an oasis out of a hot dry wilderness.

It is hard to go far without hearing the gurgling of one of their water courses.

There is not a hamlet or a village that does not owe its wash house and water fountain to the irrigation ditches dug by the Moors. 

Here is Michele trying her hand at washing the old fashioned way:



And here is the fountain in the village where we stayed last week:

The unique atmosphere of the Alpujarras

With its steep green hillsides and sparse population, the area at first reminded me of the Scottish Highlands, but then I thought of the perpetual sunshine and I realised that it was not a very accurate comparison!  In Scotland it is the rain that creates the breathtaking beauty.  In the Alpujarras, thanks to the Moors and their acequias, you can enjoy green mountain scenery without the usual rainy corollary.

Gerald Brennan in his classic book "South from Granada" alluded to the extraordinary stillness of the place.  He talked about a plume of smoke ascending vertically to the sky.

I myself have wondered at the fact that often the only sound I can hear is of a dog barking a mile away.  Yesterday, I was woken by the sound of fruit thumping to the ground.  

The region's few street lights are hung in delicate strands along the the hillside - like the more elaborate toy train sets of old.  With so little light pollution, the stars pop out at night.

With the mountains enclosing us on all sides, the the sunsets and sunrises seem to go on forever.

High up in the passes, the gaze switches from crumbling cortijos (cottages) to snowy peaks and soaring eagles.  The noises consist of dongling sheep bells and the rushing water of the acequias.  The predominant smells are the delicate scents of wild rosemary and thyme.

Down in the valleys the water courses coalesce and the noise is more intense.  In autumn you can admire the leaves changing color.  You can also make a great meal, just by picking the fruits and nuts left to rot on the ground such as figs and chestnuts.  In spring, you can wonder at the spectacular blossom of the almond trees.

The few people that live here, are to be found in lovely white villages hugging the slopes of the Sierra Nevada.

In England, as the damp dark days of winter begin to close in, people start to dream about the summer sunshine of the Luberon or Montepulciano.  

My question is why wait til summer? Why not jump on a cheap flight to Malaga and drive up to the sunny Alpujarra right now? 

Quebec:  Not the only place partial to Constitutional Oxymoron

Connoisseurs of Quebec's interminable constitutional wrangles will recall the concept of "Sovereignty Association" promoted by the province's Separatists.  Sovereignty Association is a hard concept for most people to comprehend.  Many claim that it panders to the innate Quebecois desire for a Free and Independent Quebec within a Strong Canada.

Similar ambiguity pervades Spain's relations with its regions.

After the demise of Franco and his fascist regime in 1975, there was  a revulsion against the rule of Madrid and a desire to accommodate the separatist impulses of the Basques and Catalans.

These sentiments gave rise to the second article of Spain's 1978 Constitution:

The Constitution is based on the indissoluble unity of the Spanish Nation, the common and indivisible homeland of all Spaniards: it recognizes and guarantees the right to self-government of the nationalities and regions of which it is composed and the solidarity among all.

No ambiguity there, right? 

Just as with Quebec, there were some regions  which have gained more equality than their peers.  Initially this group was confined to the Basque country, Galicia and Catalonia.

After  a referendum and intense negotiations, Andalucia was admitted to this group in 1981.

Sentenced to Scotland:  Gibraltar's stealing monkeys exiled

This story courtesy of The Olive Press, the local fortnightly English language paper:

http://www.theolivepress.es/

Gibraltar’s 30 cheekiest apes sent to live in Scotland

PUBLISHED: OCTOBER 15, 2014 AT 1:23 PM  •  LAST EDITED: OCTOBER 15, 2014 AT 1:23 PM
GIBRALTAR, LEAD2  •  5 COMMENTS

GIBRALTAR’S 30 worst offending barbary apes have been sent to Scotland after too much monkeying around on The Rock.

The apes – who have been harassing locals, rummaging through bins and pick-pocketing tourists – have been transported to Blair Drummond Safari Park, near Stirling.

The move is the first large-scale export of the apes away from The Rock since the 1990s and will prevent Gibraltar’s environmental agency culling the iconic animals.

Gibraltar’s environment minister John Cortes said: “This was the group that was giving us the most problems.

“It is sad to see them go, but they will be going to an ­excellent home and it is so much better than culling them.

“We wish our monkeys a safe journey and a happy future in Scotland.”

The marauding macaques – 11 males and 19 females – were identified as Gibraltar’s most mischievous by the environmental agency after officials monitored their movements.

There are still around 200 apes on the Rock and according to folklore, The Rock would cease to be British if the monkeys leave.

This was reinforced by Winston Churchill during the Second World War, when he shipped extra monkeys from Morocco to bolster their population.

Barbary apes are also found in the Rif mountains, in northern Morocco.

"Walking Holiday for Two in the Pennines"

The story goes as follows.  Candid Camera is positioned next to a Safeway check out counter in the UK.  They are filming the winners of prizes for being the , or close to Safeway's billionth UK customer.  First up is customer number 999,999,998.  She is the lucky winner of a state of the art colour tv (a big deal in those days) - at this point the Candid Camera pans over to the customer two places behind in the queue, and he's starting to smile.  The next customer wins a Jaguar (also a big deal in those days).  By now the 1,000,000,000th customer is beside himself, he's jumping up and own, breathing heavily in and out, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

The Safeway "president" walks up, "Congratulations, as Safeway's Billionth Customer, and to commemorate this historic occasion, I am delighted to inform you, that you have won a Walking Holiday for Two in the Pennines."  By now we all realize that the poor fellow has been set up and everybody's having a great time except him.

Walking in the Pennines lets you experience the magnificent scenery described by the Bronte sisters in their novels.  However all I remember is the feel of soggy socks, the smell of wet wool and the sight of girls doomed to become presidents of their local Women's Institutes. 

The one time I tried to get Michele to ramble in the Pennines, she told me to take a hike. 

In this context it is somewhat surprising that we are about to start a walking holiday for two in the Alpujarras south of Granada - here's the link: 

http://www.casa-ana.com/pdf_documents/Schedule.pdf

The two great draws are the Alpujarras scenery itself and more importantly the company of the author Chris Stewart.  Chris Stewart is most famous for his best selling autobiographical book:

Michele and I actually prefer his three sequels even though they have not been as commercially successful.

If Chris is half as entertaining in real life as he is on the page, it should be a great week.

Seville:  First Flavor of Flamenco

Visiting Seville without seeing Flamenco would be like going to Burgundy and not drinking the wine.

I have to admit that I have tended to bracket Flamenco with those cheesy Mariachi bands you get at a Mexican all inclusive.  I started to realize how wrong I was, when we visited the Flamenco Museum in Seville.  We got to see a young Iranian woman, who grew up in California, practising in front of a mirror.  We were blown away by her skill.  She told us that she was only a student.

We have now seen two shows, one in Seville and one in Cordoba.  These pictures are from the first show in Seville:

The two shows highlighted the trade off between passion and power on the one hand, and polish on the other hand.  Kind of like the difference between a bracing young wine and a smooth vintage year.  

Today's show in Cordoba featured smiling beautiful women dancers.  Yesterday's show, the guy had a small hole in the seam of his pants.  Personally I preferred the intensity of the first show.

Gibraltar:  True Brit, Strong and Free

Three things you need to know:

A.  Gibraltar is the Anti Separatist colony

Gibraltarians are British and very proud of it, e.g. British mail boxes

and traditional British modes of transportation:

B.  Gibraltar is strategically located at the cross roads between two continents and two oceans:

C.  The monkeys are important

Legend has it that if the colony's monkey population dies out, the British will no longer rule.  In the Second World War, Winston Churchill ordered that special measures be taken to preserve the monkey population.  Even now, you are not allowed to feed the monkeys.

Add caption

But that did not stop Michele from making a friend:

First Days in Andalucia

Andalucian countryside

Eating in Hemingway's footsteps - Lunch in Ronda

Ronda featured in Hemingway's Spanish Civil War novel For Whom the Bell Tolls.  It is unusual in that one community has been built on two sides of a deep canyon:

The "white towns" of Cadiz - not built for traffic

The best job in the village is collecting tips from tourists looking for a parking spot.

But the views are worth it:

The anarchic kids of Cadiz

Cadiz is the only city centre I have been to where the loudest noise is that of kids playing.  Maybe it's to do with so much sunshine and a lack of playgrounds, video games and organized sport.

Tarifa:  kite surfing capital of Europe

Looks a lot of fun, but I think I'll stick to windsurfing in sheltered bays

Spanish with Cati

This Spanish jaunt was not supposed to be all beer and skittles.  Michele and I eased our conscience by claiming we were going to improve our skills in the language.

We were fortunate enough to find an excellent language school in Pollenca - "Idiomas Pollenca".

We were even more fortunate to find that they could provide private lessons with Cati in our apartment in Port de Pollenca.  Here is a picture of us hard at work:

 

Cati is a genius at improvising all sorts of verbal and visual cues so that we could actually converse with her in our pigeon Spanish.  Fortunately she has a great sense of humour.  Michele told Cati about the latest fitness craze in Montreal which involves studios with ballet barres, heated to Bikram Yoga like temperatures.  Quite reasonably, Michele referred to such a studio as a "Barre Caliente".  Cati had to explain to us that in Spanish, "Bar Caliente" was the accepted phrase for a brothel. 

Why go to Barcelona?

When you can go to Palma, Mallorca?  Ok, so Palma does not have the bucket list cachet of Barcelona, but in most other respects, I think it stacks up quite well:

but that's just my opinion - here are some photos so that you can judge for yourself:

https://picasaweb.google.com/110075170705323340117/PalmaOct22014?authkey=Gv1sRgCK2But3Jo9z8oAE#

Pollenca:  Three fabulous weeks

I am very sorry to be leaving Pollenca.  Here are some of the highlights:

A.  Sir Bradley wuz here:

On the day that Bradley Wiggins won the time trial in the world road racing championships, we were eating in "Tolo's" (his favorite Mallorca watering hole - as evidenced by the memorabilia in the restaurant):

Unfortunately on the day we were there, the weather was not quite so nice:

The clientele here is an odd mixture of people like Steve F, Steve B, and Dean W, who do not look embarrassing in lycra on the one hand, and pale Brits like me on the other.

B.  From the land of Shakespeare, Milton and Wordsworth, comes today's tabloid front page headline:

"Sponger wants sex swap op reversed!"

C.  My own "Chip Wilson" moment

Occasionally I try and follow the Lululemon precept "Do one thing a day that scares you".

No - I was not brave enough to buy some Lululemon shares:

But I did the next scariest thing.  There is an excellent sailing outfit on the beach next to us called Sail & Surf Pollensa.  It is run by young Germans who combine BMW efficiency with a Westfalia vibe.  I rented a windsurfer from them.  

They asked how long it had been since I last wind surfed.  I said ten years - in reality it's closer to twenty five years.  I asked for the smallest sail they had, but was told rather sniffily, that the smallest sail was two square metres and was reserved for children.  I had to settle for a 4 square metre sail installed on a barge like board.  It sounds pretty tame but it was exciting enough for me!

D.  So what does 400 Euros a week buy you, out of season, in Pollensa?

As you can see from the pictures, it's not a palace - no ocean views, polyester bed linens, the odd but extremely persistent mosquito!

However we have absolutely loved staying here. Here are ten reasons (in descending order of importance to us):

1. Wi-fi works great
2. Our own laundry
3. Our own kitchen
4. Very safe
5. All the appliances actually work
6. Tons of room for two people
7. Two terraces for enjoying the evening sun
8. Air conditioning
9. Near to my favorite windsurfing school
10. In the middle of town

All the comforts of home, but none of the chores - which is why I am somewhat reluctant to get moving again!